2017-01-26- 5:50 p.m.

"MORE VENOM, MORE DYNAMITE, MORE DISASTER"

I'm just loving this generation behind me. I'm loving hating on them - they make it too easy!

Last night I sat in a bar where I don't feel like the oldest person there. Possibly the youngest person there was standing behind the bar.

Her mouth was perpetually half open. Kylie Jenner mouth. She was that sort of bland pretty "I spent a lot of time on this look, that makes it seem like I rolled out of bed looking like this." You know what I'm talking about. Hair imperfect, complexion perfect. Clothes imperfect, eyeliner perfect.

Maybe it was because she was by herself. Maybe it was because there was just prairie breezes blowing around upstairs. She was the EPITOME of vacant. All vacant dead eyes. The sort of person that would have nothing to offer, conversationally. Philosophically. I know this, with every fiber of my being.

Perhaps, if I needed to know the filter du jour for Instagram this season, she would have something of value to contribute? She might be able to set up a twitter account for me? Beyond that, I wouldn't have trusted this person to pour my craft beer, let alone be my nurse, deliver my mail, pass on an important message, or contribute to the fucking fabric of the society in which I live.

I imagined her inner monologue to be thus:

"I thought working in a bar would be high glamour.

I thought there would be young people here. Everyone is old, and they seem to have alcohol problems. And wrinkles!

I have nothing to do. What did my supervisor say about what to do when it was quiet..? Wipe down the bar or something? Icky. Someone else will do that.

Why are people going to the front bar, instead of to me? I thought working in a bar would give me good insty. I thought I could snapchat my entire work time, it would just be one long good-looking stream of hook-ups and my friends would be jealous of how much fun my job was.

I'm bored. If I keep my phone down below the bar, no one will be able to tell I'm looking at it. Even though my eyes are going to get even more vacant as I do it. God, I'm so pretty. Why don't I have more likes for this photo?"

Did I mention that it was the laziness that really got my goat? If there was no person to badly (abysmally) pour beer for, she would just stand there. Doing....nothing. Staring...vacantly. Not an attempt to collect glasses. Not an attempt to clean. Not an attempt to re-stock. Absolutely fucking nothing. All the energy of a fucking sea-slug. And at least they contribute poop to line the sea-bed. Or...something ecologically useful. I'm not a fucking marine biologist.

JAY-SUS!

Yes, I did have a lot of fun observing her last night, drinking beer and providing a running commentary for other's amusement. Because I'm a motherfucking asshole.

*And for anyone who wants to claim I am degrading my gender, don't assume you know my gender. Or whom I like to degrade. Today, it's the younger generation. Tomorrow, the world.

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